A Critical Life Absolute: “Design determines both duty and delight.”
In my dad’s garage there were many different types of hardware, construction tools, and sports gear. He was a bit of a pack-rat so you could find many interesting things to help you either work hard or play hard. I want to talk about two items in particular – crowbars and golf clubs – because they illustrate a very important life principle: Design determines both duty and delight.
My dad had two types of crowbars hidden in the spider-webbed corners behind all the other junk. The first was your typical heavy duty cast-iron prybar with a hooked end and single-toothed edge. He also had an old, rusty cumbersome steel wrecking bar. And as its name says, it was used to wreck things. Boy was it heavy! I once dropped the wrecking bar on my big toe and my scream could be heard three time zones away.
My dad also had a few old golf bags where he collected a wide assortment of clubs: Drivers, nine-irons, sand wedges and an old Arnold Palmer putter. Most of his golf clubs were also made of either cast-iron or steel shafts.
Even though the same material was involved in their creation, the specific design of the iron and steel determined the proper use for both. And the design really mattered.
One time I had to rip old planks off our rotted back yard deck, so my dad sent me into the garage to get the crowbar. He showed me how to wedge the toothed edge into the gap between boards, and pull back with relative ease and let the crowbar do most of the backbreaking work. During warm winter thaws we would often have a very slick and icy driveway and my dad would hand me the wrecking bar to smash the ice while he scooped it up with his shovel. I found great delight in releasing rage with that wrecking bar.
When I was asked by my friends to go golfing, I would head straight to the back of the garage and choose which of the two golf bags to use. I would then stuff it with the best golf clubs available so I could look somewhat knowledgeable when it came to golf. All in all, I was pretty good at knocking that frustrating little white ball around the fairways and greens.
One day my dad told me while he was at work to clear the ice off the driveway for my mom so she wouldn’t slip or get stuck pulling the car out of the garage. I went to look for the wrecking bar, and after a few minutes of not being able to find it in our cluttered garage, I saw the bag of golf clubs out of the corner of my eye. I said to myself, “Hmm, those clubheads are made of pretty tough steel, I can use one of those to beat on the ice.”
So I grabbed the trusty seven-iron, one of my dad’s favorites, and began using it to smash the ice. After a few whacks I realized it didn’t have the same wrecking power as the bar. So instead of looking for the bar, I decided to use more force to chip the ice with the golf club. I took a huge swing and “wham,” the clubhead hit the ice but it didn’t budge. And then to my chagrin, I bent the shaft!
“Oh no, my dad’s favorite club is wrecked!” I tried to bend it back into its original shape, but alas, to no avail. I contemplated replacing the seven-iron with the cast-iron prybar, “He would never notice.” And then I imagined him 175 yards away from the green on a par-five hole, looking for the seven-iron only to find a massive prybar. Have you ever tried golfing with a prybar? I did once, and I pulled my shoulder out of joint while completely missing the ball.
This whole comparison of crowbars and golf clubs sounds rather silly, doesn’t it? But the point is simple: Design determines duty – while a prybar is meant to pry things, a golf club is made with more finesses and delicate fine-tuning for a sweet and satisfying game of golf. And its satisfying because it is being used for which it was made, hence, delight!
How have we forgotten this when it comes to two of the greatest designs God ever made: A man and a woman? Yes, we are both made out of the same material: Red clay and the breath of God. But we are not made the same way.
A man, like a crowbar, is a rather blunt object. He is made for heavy duty lifting, he is meant for more sustained exertion and violence. A woman is designed with delicacy. Made for duties that require much more finesse and care. Design determines duty and delight.
Somewhere along the line women have been told they can also smash the ice like men can. And the more they try, the more bent of soul they become. You have seen it! Broken and twisted clubs are everywhere. And then there is this movement to make a crowbar feel guilty for being a bit more sturdy and tough.
We have even gotten to the point where it is tough to even find a sturdy wrecking bar when you really need one.
I was thinking the other day about the human body. By design God gave us two arms, a right arm and a left arm. Have you ever noticed that the majority of people like having both of their arms to be able to use at the same time? I once met a man who was missing an arm and you could tell he wished he had two arms. He never demanded that I celebrate and even praise him for having one arm. And he never would argue that having one arm may even be superior to having two arms, because you know that other arm keeps getting in the way!
Well, in the same way, why do we celebrate single parenthood? It is like living with only one arm. And there is also an acceptable cultural spirit of contempt for the other sex. Golf clubs have united in their disdain over crowbars everywhere you go. And because of that most crowbars have gone back to hidden spider-webbed corners of the garage.
You know why delight is hard to come by these days? It is very simple, there are too many golf clubs that are bent and disfigured trying to be crowbars.
